I just checked the weather forecast for the upcoming week, and what I saw made me cringe. Almost every day over 30 degrees. *sigh* looks like the hot weather is back with a vengeance. Summer is a time of year that is often associated with ‘fun in the sun’ but if I were to write a list of things that I find fun, being in the sun would definitely not be on it. Frankly, I find the three months of summer and the heat that carries on well into autumn, rather abhorrent. Unlike so many of my friends – who are evidently insane – I think summer is the worst time of year.
To begin with, my poor body is ill-equipped to deal with the soaring temperatures that come with the arrival of summer. Once it starts getting above 25 degrees, my body launches whole-heartedly into a full-scale rebellion against the sun. It often begins with severe headaches, which in turn leads to body aches, feeling faint and inevitably throwing up. As if this weren’t bad enough, the sun actually makes me itch. No kidding, I spend too long in the sun – ten minutes or so – and I start to itch like a meth addict who believes bugs to be crawling under her skin. In a manner of speaking, my reaction to the sun is that of one who was allergic to it. I can come to no other conclusion but that I must be part vampire. I shall endeavour to ask my parents about my heritage.
Then there is the fact that my room becomes unbearably hot in summer. My little bedroom is situated at the back of my house and as a result, I get all of the afternoon sun. Even with the outside blind pulled down to shield me from the glare and some of the heat, my room often stays like a sauna until well after the sun has actually set. Now, as I like to spend a lot of time in my room – a common side effect of being something of a reclusive nerd – this proves to be awfully inconvenient for me. I am left with the difficult choice between spending time in the air-conditioned comfort of the lounge room watching boring television, or actually doing something productive with my time whilst melting out of my skin in my room. Unfortunately, there is no way to simultaneously be cool and be able to relax in a way I enjoy and so often, my somewhat solitary nature urges me to choose the latter rather than the former.
Now, I know some of you out there are thinking that there are ways to have fun in the sun. Take, for example, the pool. Alas, the pool and I are sadly incompatible. For starters, as pathetic as I have been told this is, I actually cannot swim. You know how you see those people clinging desperately to the concrete lip of the pool as if their very lives depended on it, and casting vaguely terrified looks at the open expanses of water that everyone else is splashing around in? Yeah, I’m one of those. If my feet don’t touch the bottom (and I’m not particularly tall so I don’t have to be in very deep for that to happen), then the edge of the pool becomes my best friend. In addition to that, there is the fact that I kind of want to kick all the girls who sashay about, flipping their hair to sultaneously prove they’re prettier than the other girls and draw attention to themselves, or the gormless louts who think doing bombs off the diving boards is the height (see what I did there) of cool. Plus, chlorine or not, there is no way I want to get into a giant basin of water that is shared by gosh knows how many strange bodies and their inability to wait until they reach the toilet before they pee. And speaking of chlorine, do you know what that stuff does to your eyes and your hair and your skin? Ugh. No, I avoid public pools like the plague.
All that aside, there are one or two things that I do like about warmer weather. I mean, I certainly appreciate the chance to see attractive women in little shorts and low-cut tops. And as much as I love winter clothing, by the time warm weather rolls around, I too am grateful to get to wear shorts and skirts and the occasional dress. Though that being said, by the time it reaches near 30, unless I am in public I am pretty much stripped down to bra and panties anyway. The truth is, when it all boils down to it (and again!), I start longing for winter the day summer starts and the sooner the cold weather returns, the happier I am.