Big Fat Double Standards

Women don’t like the word fat. Unless, of course, they’re talking about someone they hate and then it’s apparently a perfectly appropriate descriptive for someone. When used to describe a friend or themselves however, women tend to use words like big, large or curvy. I’m sorry, ladies, but calling it something else does not change the fact that fat is fat. That statement is not intended to be derogatory or rude, it’s just a simple, if somewhat harsh truth. As I’m writing this I can practically hear the cries of outrage and the words of hate-filled protest because I’m being so blatantly horrible. Or, as I like to call it, honest. And before anyone gets it into their heads that I harbour some kind of prejudice against fat women, let me clarify that I couldn’t care less whether you’re a size 16 or a size 6. Whether I personally like you or not basically comes down to how much of a jerk you are, and has nothing whatsoever to do with your physical appearance.

The word fat is taboo and we aren’t allowed to use it because it’s rude. And yet when I get told that I’m too thin or bony or anorexic, apparently that’s ok. I fail to see how one can be offensive while the other is for all intents and purposes, socially acceptable. I, for the record, am perfectly healthy; I walk regularly, have decent muscle tone and I’m not starving myself. Despite this, I feel that I am constantly having to justify my size, as if it’s something to be ashamed of. This isn’t helped by the fact that the internet is plastered with memes and posts declaring things like ‘Real men like curves, only dogs like bones’ and ‘skinny girls are for wimps’. I’m sorry, that’s not offensive but calling someone fat is? Right, and I’m married to Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Those kinds of posts are essentially saying that a) thin women aren’t worthy of a man’s love and b) that any man that does love a skinny girl isn’t a manly enough man. They’re odious, vitriolic words which simultaneously aim to insult thin women and emasculated the men that love them. Good job on that, you ignorant twats. And while we’re on the subject, curvy and fat are not the same thing. Curvy is a woman with curves. Fat is a woman who is fat.

And here’s where it’s unfair. A size 18 girl posts a photo of herself in a bikini and everyone tells her that she’s brave and beautiful and inspirational, and that it’s so good to see her comfortable in her own skin and so on. But if a size 6 girl does the same thing, she’s branded a slut and an attention whore. Why is it ok for a fat girl to be happy with herself but not ok for a skinny girl to be? Why should happiness with one’s body be restricted to people over a certain size? And if I want to wear a bikini and be happy with my body, who is anyone else to tell me that I’m not allowed? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for confident, empowered women and feeling happy and content with what you’ve got going on. But if you’re not happy with yourself, being spiteful about others is not the way to change that.

Plus, what’s with all this nonsense about being a real woman? Excuse me, but last time I checked, fat girls didn’t have the monopoly on reality. I am very real. And so is every other size 8 girl out there. If you prick us, do we not bleed? And as for men only liking ‘curvy’ women, fuck that. Men like what they like, in the same way women do. The ire and petty jealousies of a bunch of fat women do not conclusively determine what every man in the world wants. Now, I’ve had this discussion with folks before and it always seems to come down to one major argument on their part; ‘that’s all well and good for you to judge, you’re only little’, or some other derivative of the same. Essentially stating that I’m not allowed to call another woman fat, and that I’m rubbing it in because of my size. No, I’m not. I just don’t think it’s fair to have all these double standards where being offensive is concerned. If you insist on inaccurately labelling me underweight or anorexic, then you can damn well suck it up when I call you overweight and fat.

At the crux of it, it doesn’t matter what your size is. We are all real and we are all attractive to someone. Probably multiple someones. Remember that, next time you liken a thin girl to a bag of bones only fit for a dog.

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