Don’t Be Surprised if You See Me Dancing Naked

In the last six months, I have had and subsequently quit three jobs. In that time I also had an interview for another job that I opted not to take because it was only offering a meagre number of Christmas casual hours. I am the first to admit that those statistics are pretty pathetic. It sounds as though I’m incapable of holding down a job but prior to the last six months, I had a solid job for two and a half years and a second job for nine months during the same period. The only reason I no longer have solid work is because both the places I was employed at were unceremoniously shut down without warning. I had no say in it. You’ve all heard this broken record tune before, because even seven odd months after losing my job at the bookstore, I still feel the hurt. I still miss it as fiercely as I did the day I found out. And no matter how good any other job is, nothing will ever be as perfect for me as Collins was. But as I said, I’ve told this tale before.

Since the day I lost my job, things haven’t gone particularly smoothly for me on the employment front. I worked at a cafe for a month before leaving on account of the staff being mostly unbearable. I got another job during that time, where I worked two shifts before quitting that too, due to the largely rude, malicious and unhelpful staff that I worked with. Then I got my most recent job at a camping/fishing/outdoorsy type store. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I’m not really one for the outdoors. I’m not sporty in any way, and I find more pleasure in curling up with a good book than in camping or fishing or…you know, any kind of activity involving the outside world and other people. So you can imagine how out of place I felt during my four month stint at the store in question. I was constantly uncomfortable, which had a little to do with the hideous uniform and a lot to do with the staff and my lack of knowledge about the product I was supposed to be selling. It’s difficult to sell things you have no knowledge about or interest in. Similarly, it didn’t help that whenever I had a question, most of the staff would treat me like I was an idiot for not knowing. I’m by no means unintelligent but whenever I went to work, I felt stupid.

In addition to that, it was rare for me to get more than one or two shifts a week, and in recent weeks my hours were as little as five per week. That was $92 after tax, and far from being enough to survive on. Since I hated it so passionately and wasn’t even earning enough money to justify it, I handed in my official resignation today. I am now, once again, pathetically unemployed. I’ve applied for a few jobs lately, one more promising than the rest, but alas, have heard nothing back from any of them. This does not bode well.

The trouble with applying for jobs is that so few offer any decent hours. And I’m tired of working in jobs I hate, with people who aren’t much better, for pay that isn’t worth the time and effort it takes to turn up and survive the occasional shift I get given. I’d be willing to work in a job I hated if I was at least getting paid well for it. But it seems good jobs are few and far between, and those that are available are given to other people. 

Job searching for me has always been a draining, frustrating and largely disappointing process. There are only so many rejection letters a girl can take before she starts half-seriously considering the possibility of becoming a stripper – assuming they bother to contact you at all. Unemployment makes me nervous and does nothing to improve my characteristically irritable disposition. Even the last few days have shown a clear decline in my moods, and I find myself short of temper and snappier than usual. Having no money will do that to you, I suppose.

It would be great if I could get paid for being awesome. Or at least for doing something that I love. I fully intend to do just that, if I ever get around to finishing a novel (but that’s a whole different grievance for another time). Until then, it looks like it’s back to the job searching board. If anyone knows of any awesome, decently paid jobs with a friendly environment and rad employees, be sure to let me know. Because right now, taking my clothes off for money is looking pretty darn good…you don’t need to be coordinated to get naked, right?

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