Self confidence is a powerful thing. I know, because I have it in spades. I don’t worry about my flaws, I look in the mirror and think ‘damn I look good’, and then I go out into the world feeling strong and powerful and damn fine. Self confidence is like wearing the greatest armour in the world. With it, the opinions of others don’t matter to me, I don’t have to please anyone and I feel good about myself. It’s empowering.
Yesterday, my boss and I were discussing another conversation I’d had where my friend told me if I filled in my eyebrows they would be ‘fierce’. I was telling him how I didn’t get why girls go to such great lengths with their appearance, because it seems tiring. His response to that was ‘well that’s easy for you to say because you’re naturally kinda pretty’. Implying that life is easier for me because of the way I look. Something about that statement irritated me, in the same way it always does when someone uses my physical appearance against me.
First of all, I wasn’t saying that girls who fill in their eyebrows and wear makeup aren’t pretty. I was just saying I personally can’t be bothered with all of that. And second, it sort of felt like he was saying ‘oh sure, you’re nice looking but you’re being a jerk about it’. And therein lies the problem. Self confidence is great if you’ve got it, but other people can often see it as a threat, or as being full of yourself.
I’ll be honest with you, a lot of girls don’t like me. I’ve had strangers call me a slut or glare at me from across the room. Even some of my friends have been known to make digs at me because of my physical appearance. Women are their own worst enemy. They go on about female empowerment and loving yourself, but when they actually see a confident woman who is comfortable in her own skin, other women have a tendency to get spiteful and jealous. Being a self confident woman doesn’t make you a slut or a bitch or full of yourself. It means you like yourself. And when you like yourself, it shows.
People are attracted to confidence. And being ‘naturally kinda pretty’ has nothing to do with it. I have known some positively stunning women who are genuinely insecure. By the same token, I’ve met people who are perhaps more ‘plain’, who absolutely rock their confidence and live happier lives because of it. My life is not easy because of the way I look. I have troubles and worries the same as anyone does. I just happen to like myself, and that’s a really great thing. It’s not about looking good for someone else, or in the hopes of finding a partner. It’s about looking good for me. Being self confident is about knowing that I’m a young, attractive woman and not feeling ashamed of admitting the fact. I am a young attractive woman, and if you have a problem with my self confidence, then take it elsewhere.
You don’t have to fit into society’s ideals of beauty to be self confident. You just have to like yourself. If that means wearing makeup, or losing weight, or getting a new haircut then all power to you. But make sure you do those things for you, and not someone else. Self confidence is not being cocky. It is waking up in the morning and thinking ‘fuck yeah, I’m feeling good.’ And you know what? I’m feeling good.