Never a Bridesmaid. Probably Never a Bride.

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Weddings are a big deal to some people. They go to all these lengths and spend all this money just to sign a bit of paper that says they’re officially ‘together’. Now, I have attended three weddings in the last month (two on the same day no less), plus hearing about countless others and I have to say, I’m not sure I understand what all the fuss is about.

I am not opposed to the idea of marriage. I just don’t really have a lot of faith in the whole institution. My parents are divorced, and I think their breakup is partly responsible for opening my eyes to the realities of marriage. Not all marriages end happily. Which isn’t to say that they all end badly, but I just figure, if you’re going to break up, it’s easier to do if you’re not bound by law. I realise how pessimistic that sounds, but hear me out.

When you talk about weddings, you say the couples get married because they were ‘so in love’, as if it’s what’s sets them apart from every other married couple in the history of ever. But, as my best friend and I discussed yesterday, no one ever gets married because they hate each other. Being in love doesn’t necessitate a marriage and there are plenty of people who love each other desperately and have never been married. I know two long term couples that don’t want to get married, and they don’t love each other less than any married couples I know. In the case of one friend, he doesn’t understand why he should get married out of obligation, when there are couples who want it way more than he does, who don’t get that right. Until gay marriage is legalised, he’s not going to marry his partner just because people think he should.

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Which brings me to my next point. Why do people get married? Sure, there’s that whole love thing, but I think there’s a part of it that directly relates to society’s (and family’s) expectation that they should. You get to a certain age, or you’ve been with your partner for a certain length of time, so what’s next? You get married and buy the house and have the kids. Because that’s just what people do. I know girls my own age who are already married and it feels so surreal because I still feel like a teenager half the time, certainly not mature enough for the lives these girls are carving out for themselves.

I guess at the crux of it, I just don’t really care all that much about marriage. No disrespect to the people who want the married life (if that’s what they really want) but I would prefer to live in sin. I don’t ever want children, and at this point, marriage is just something other people do. If it ever happens, fine. If it doesn’t, I would like to give a loud, resounding meh.

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