I am very open about my sexuality, and I’m totally comfortable with the fact that I enjoy sex with women. This openness however, tends to get a lot of different, interesting reactions from the people I know, and the people I meet.
Despite the fact that I am one hundred percent comfortable with the fact that I am almost entirely attracted to women, I never introduce myself by way of my sexuality. I don’t even really like to put a label on it. Not in a hipster kind of way, but because it’s too difficult to explain. Technically, I guess I am what would be classified as bisexual. But even that seems wrong. The reality of it is this; I am almost exclusively attracted to women. I have slept with women, I enjoy sex with women. I occasionally appreciate a nice looking man, but can’t imagine myself having sex with one. But I’m not ruling out the possibility that I might meet an extraordinary, exceptional man one day, fall hopelessly in love with him and want to have his bits all up in my bits. I mean, it could happen. I just haven’t met this person yet.
The funny thing is the way people react. My friend often refers to me as her ‘lesbian friend’, which is not true but sometimes easier to just go along with. So I was introduced to friend of hers the other day in quite the same fashion. I don’t remember much about the conversation we had, except the part where this friend was particularly interested in discussing my sexuality. I brushed off most of the questions from this rather assuming stranger, and when they left I went about my work. It wasn’t until later that day that my friend told me that the fellow I had met thought we would get along purely because we ‘both like women’. Never mind the fact that our sexual preferences are about the only thing we have in common. But evidently, he found that enough of a similarity to take quite a liking to me. Strange how liking women can do that.
Then on the flipside of that, I have had people automatically decide they don’t like me on the basis of who I prefer to go to bed with. I have legitimately been told that ‘God’ hates me, and that I am going to hell. Which doesn’t really bother me, to be honest. But you have to wonder why these strangers think they have a right to judge me about something that doesn’t concern them in the slightest. And the people who just think I’m gross because I would prefer to have a girl sit on my face than have a penis thrust at me. And let’s not forget the people who ask ‘but how do you know you don’t like it if you’ve never had one?’ That question always gets me. I mean, a penis isn’t like Brussels sprouts. I didn’t just decide not to like them because of some stigma attached. I just find the idea of a penis decidedly…unappealing. And while we’re on the subject, how do you know you don’t like women if you’ve never had sex with one?
And then of course, there are the people who simply don’t understand, or are merely curious. It’s not uncommon for people to ask me what sex with a woman is like, and I don’t mind answering those questions. Hell, I’ve asked my straight friends countless times questions about men. I’m not offended by these questions, and I would hope people aren’t offended when I ask similar ones!
I shouldn’t have to explain my sexual orientation, and I shouldn’t be put into a box (unless I want to be…ha!) based on that otherwise irrelevant part of my personality. I guess I just find it amusing, the misconceptions people often make when they hear a person’s sexuality. It doesn’t matter to me whether you’re straight, gay or otherwise. If you’re an alright dude, I guess we’re likely to get along just fine. If you’re an asshole, I’m more than willing to tell you. Love who you want, shag who you want; do your own damn thing, and don’t apologise for it. Bam, how’s that for words of wisdom.