Living For Today (Don’t Mind the Cliche)

You know how when a new year starts, people go on these crazy resolution sprees, talking about all the things they really like the idea of but know they won’t follow through on? Well, I don’t do those. I think New Years resolutions are negative, rather than positive, because when you get to the end of the year and have done none of the things you promised yourself you would do, you feel disappointed and unfulfilled. And then you go and do it again for the following year, and the next, and the next, and so it goes.

I know myself. I know that saying I’m going to do twenty five thousand things in the coming year is going to be a lie. I’m lazy, and often unmotivated. I make plans and then let them go by without bothering to actually do the things I was planning to do. I have this tendency to plan too far in the future, and then regret it later and never do anything. It’s like when you say you’ll go to a party a week before it happens, and then the hour before, when you’re sitting on your couch in nothing but panties and a tee, you realise that you actually can’t be bothered moving. That’s pretty much the story of my entire life.

So instead of making ridiculous, unattainable goals, I kind of had an epiphany recently; take each day as it comes. It’s really that simple. I know I am by no means the first person to have ever come to this realisation, but I’m feeling pretty good about the fact that I came to it. You see, I have this tendency to worry about things too far in the future. It results in stress, lack of sleep, and one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. If I don’t do a billion things in a day, I feel like I’ve been unproductive. It’s really quite an unhealthy habit.

But I’ve come to learn that it doesn’t matter. It’s good to have goals, absolutely. I want to write books for a living. But it is also good to know that some things take time. So instead of telling myself at the start of every day that I’ll eat healthy things and go for a walk, instead of promising myself I’ll watch ten episodes of a new show when I’ll really end up watching Supernatural reruns, instead of being angry at myself for not having published thirty books already, I am going to just…chill. I’ll take a leaf out of my almost preternaturally relaxed brother’s book, and just go with the flow. So I ate shitty junk food for dinner, whatever. So I only only wrote 300 words of my work-in-progress instead of 3000, that’s ok. It’s still something, after all. And there is always tomorrow.

So here’s what I’m going to do. If I have the urge to play my guitar, I’ll play it. If I really feel like going for a long walk, I’ll go on one. And if I’m not in the mood for things, if I know that forcing myself to do them will be counter productive and make me cranky, I’m just not going to do them. Sure, the future is tomorrow. And when tomorrow comes, I’ll tackle it with gusto, or nonchalance, or whatever feels better at the time. But for now, it is today, and today is good.

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