Serial Singleness

Everyone seems to be falling in love lately. My social media newsfeeds are flooded with wedding photos and engagement announcements, loved up date night posts and kissing snaps. And me? I’m settling in with a big fuck off glass of wine, some peanut brittle and a blanket on the couch. My only company is the ghost, and dead guys just don’t do it for me.

I’m a bit of a singular entity. None of my relationships have ever lasted that long, and I am the kind of person that gets sick of other people quickly. So how do they do it? How is it that so many people I know seem to be happily settling into coupledom? Is it magic? Do you follow some scientific formula and end up in a relationship? Or do you just have to barrel on in and hope for the best?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to hop aboard the Tinder train or anything. But when everyone around you is getting into relationships and moving in together and making gooey eyes at each other until you feel vaguely ill, it kind of makes you ponder your serial singleness. And it occurs to me that being single has such a stigma attached to it. So much so that some people become afraid to be alone, and will subsequently stay in bad or toxic relationships because they think it’s the lesser of two evils. Now, I don’t know about you, but something in that scenario seems hugely wrong to me.

To be honest, dating has never been a big thing with me. I’ve never met someone I want to settle down with. I mean, my ex is great and we’re awesome friends now, but our short lived relationship was the result of a romantic incompatibility. And that was over three years ago and I’ve been single ever since. I’m not sure I’d know how to date anymore! The strange thing is that when you’re single, all the coupley people, whether they realise it or not, they kind of pity you a little. It’s like there’s this notion that if you’re single then you must be lonely, and pitiable. Because how could you possibly be content if you don’t get to curl up with someone at night, right?

I guess the point I’m driving at here, albeit confusingly, is that it’s such a socially accepted thing to be in a relationship. It usually follows the ‘date, get engaged, get married’ formula and no one questions it. And yet people question being single all the time. I’m forever being asked how my love life is, or of I’ve met anyone lately, or getting a condescending pat and a ‘don’t worry, you’ll find a nice girl one day’. Or if it’s not that, it’s the ‘oh my god, how are you single?’ I’m single the same way you’re an asshat. And excuse me, people in relationships, but I don’t need your pity and I don’t need a consolation sigh. Leave me alone with my wine and my couch and my ghost, I assure you I’m quite content!

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5 thoughts on “Serial Singleness

  1. I love this post! Thank you. Indeed, nearly every culture in this confused world seems to praise sexual relationships (from marriage to the hot hook-up that lasts all of 2 weeks). It’s so bad, I believe, that we have no idea how to do FRIENDSHIPS (you know, those little things that can last a lifetime and/or can challenge our boundaries & sense of self like nothing else in this world). “I’m settling in with a big fuck off glass of wine, some peanut brittle and a blanket on the couch.”– PERFECT. Keep writing, please. 🙂

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed this! Too many people are so scared to be alone that they will suffer through bad relationships to avoid it, when I feel it’s much healthier to enjoy your own company if that’s what or right for you at the time. Thanks for reading!

  2. I feel the same way about you being single as I do about you not wanting kids.
    If it’s what you want and you are happy, who am I to question it? Just because kids and marriage is what I want doesn’t mean it’s also what you want. And being with someone can be a huge pain in the ass, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows!
    In other words
    You do you boo boo

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