I’ve never been good at making friends. I have a tendency to make a bad first impression, you see. I’m too loud, or too forward, or too inappropriate, or too…weird. Sometimes a messy combination of them all. I get anxious around strangers, so I counter it by convincing my brain that I am overly confident and not in the least bit uncomfortable. Hence, making friends has never been my strong suit.
Today I met a woman who works with my friends at a bookshop. I went in to help her with some car key related questions and ended up throwing myself wholeheartedly into ‘hey, I just met you, I’m a little crazy, please don’t judge me, just call me Amy!’ (if you didn’t read that to the tune of Call Me Maybe, go away and think about what you’ve done). She didn’t seem to mind too much, just kinda rolled with it. The people who take my weird in their stride are my favourite kind of people. Though the doughnut probably helped.
See, I have this theory. Doughnuts are a wonderful ice breaker. Because…well, everyone likes doughnuts. And if you don’t, I probably don’t want to be your friend anyway. It’s a good and delicious way to sort out the people you want to be nice to from the people you don’t. And in addition to that, it’s a way to be nice without actually having to do it yourself. Buy a friend (or new friend) a doughnut, and the deliciousness will trick their brains into thinking that you’re nice, with minimal effort on your part. For me, a professional awkward person, being nice or friendly is something I struggle with. As I have explained before, I’m more comfortable spending money than showing any modicum of affection. Yes, I know, I’m broken. That’s not the point. The point is that doughnuts are the solution, to any and every problem (except probably obesity and diabetes and doughnuts allergies and…whatever).
So, I went away, returned with doughnuts for all, and effortlessly thrust myself into the life of a complete stranger without her wanting to run away, or hit me with a broom. Doughnuts will do that. So even if I was too loud, forward, inappropriate or weird (and I’m fairly certain I was all four), I was able to get away with it, without too much judgement. I can’t make a good impression, but I can buy you a doughnut, and that’s kind of the same thing.