I’m not here lately. I don’t mean I’m over there. I mean, I feel like my body is present but another part, an important part – my soul, maybe – is somewhere else. It sounds strange but that’s the only way I can really describe where I’m at. I have wandering soul syndrome.
It’s been a long working week. I’ve just come off eight days, in between sewing for clients and trying desperately to finish my own costume for my best pal’s birthday tomorrow night. And I think everything is starting to catch up with this li’l old body of mine. Today was particularly strange. I was focused on work but I felt like I was a machine, a robot just working a factory line. Finish a pair of shoes, straight on to the next one. My limbs have felt strangely weak, my hands haven’t stopped shaking even after I ate, and I feel like I might float away at any given moment.
I think sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. At least, I know I do. My best friend often gently berates me for my inability to relax and look after myself. I’m always fine, right up until I’m not. And I think I’ve reached the point where I’m not. I’ve been so busy lately, always on the go, always doing something, trying to cram two months worth of work into two weeks. I need to remind myself to slow down, take a breath, allow myself to calm down and relax. Before I run myself into the ground. To be honest, I am in desperate need of a massage and a long sleep. I need to reel my soul back in from wherever it’s wandered off to, and start feeling like myself again. But that might take a bit of time so in the interim, I’ll settle for a cup of tea and my couch.
So with that in mind, tonight, instead of sitting at the sewing machine for four hours trying to finish my costume, I have just put dinner in the oven, gotten into comfy clothes and put the heater on. I am going to watch a movie, eat, and probably pass out in front of the television. The world will wait until tomorrow. Until then…relax.