Paranoia or Thievery?

One of my favourite dresses has gone missing.

This might seem a trivial problem. You’re probably thinking “come on, Amy. Who cares about a dress anyway?” The issue is however, that I have a strong suspicion that my dress has not just gone missing. I firmly believe that it has been stolen.

My friend thinks I’m paranoid, but I’ve looked literally everywhere the dress could possibly have ended up, and the one thing I HAVE found is the very distinct absence of said dress. And here’s the thing. I remember hanging it out to dry on the line a couple of weeks ago, but I don’t recall pulling it in or putting it away. It was only when I went to find it to wear yesterday that I noticed it was gone. And we’ve recently had a number of thefts at home. Just a month or so ago, someone jacked up my dad’s car which was parked on the street, and stole an entire wheel. So the idea that someone walked into the backyard and casually took my dress off the line is not as far fetched as it sounds.

The thing is, I had resigned myself to the fact that it has vanished and, despite the fact that it’s only new, and the fact that it cost me about $70, I was prepared to buy a new one. But the more I think about it, the angrier I become. I purchased the dress as a kind of treat to myself, not something I often do. And it’s one of the few items of clothing I own that I don’t feel uncomfortable in. So the notion that someone has stolen it is fuel to a slow burning rage bubbling beneath the surface of my skin.

People are honestly just shit. Who steals stuff?! If it is, as I suspect, an act of thievery in the strangest and most creepy sense (I don’t like the idea of anyone coming into my space that I haven’t granted permission to), I wish I had have caught the person. Like Vincent Vega says in Pulp Fiction, it would almost be worth them doing it, just so I could catch them in the act.

If it was indeed stolen, I hope the thief gets hit in the face by karma. And if it is, in fact, just misplaced – though if it shows up now, I may still believe it was stolen, just by fairies instead of a person – then I will not only be greatly surprised, but I will concede to the fact that I’m just paranoid.

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