On Turning 27

Today is my 27th birthday. I have taken the day off, as is my custom, but I have no plans. I have gotten messages today from people I didn’t expect, and have heard nothing at all from people I would have assumed would be the first to call. I broke up with my girlfriend last night, and I’m still feeling like a jerk about it. The weather is going to be cloying and hot, and I’m honestly feeling a little bit strange, on the whole.

I am a person who needs to be constantly in motion. I can’t sit still, cannot stay in one place and do nothing for any length of time. My fingers itch to make something, my body yearns to go on an adventure somewhere. My best friend tells me I need to take some time for me, on the day that I can claim as my own. But doing nothing is at odds with my restless soul.

I don’t feel one way or another about birthdays, not anymore. Gone are the days when I would get excited. The last time I tried to have a birthday gathering, everyone cancelled on the day and it turned into a spectacular failure, so I don’t even bother with that anymore either. But there is a certain quality to the anniversary of the day I clawed my way out into the world, Alien style. (that’s how childbirth works, right? Chest Bursters all the way!). I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it feels different to any other day. I don’t know, perhaps I am just getting more contemplative in my old age. Regardless, today is a day, and whilst I’m still not sure what I’m going to do with it just yet, I think I might start with some breakfast. Seems like as good an idea as any!

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my 26th birthday. I had breakfast with a friend, and I was going to go see a movie before I realised I was out of cash. So I went home, where I put on some washing and began to box up my books pending my move back home. Yes, after only six months, I’m moving again. Shaddup.

Birthdays aren’t a big deal for me anymore, but this year I decided that I’m going to have a small birthday bash with a few close friends in my backyard. Because sometimes you just gotta get drunk with your pals and forget that you’re nowhere near where you want to be.

I’m trying not to beat myself up about the fact that I’ve been on this earth 26 years and I’m in the worst position financially and mentally that I’ve ever been. And today was a good day, so it’s easy to be in a good mood, fortunately. I’m trying to remember that it’s ok to not have my whole life figured out yet, and that no matter how old I feel, 26 is still pretty young.

I’m not big on presents and if you ask, I’ll tell you I don’t want anything for my birthday. But if the Universe is into gift giving, all I would ask for for my birthday, is to get the funeral director job I applied for. I’m sure not every person wants a full time job for their birthday, but I sure would. Cross your fingers for me, guys.