Today is my 27th birthday. I have taken the day off, as is my custom, but I have no plans. I have gotten messages today from people I didn’t expect, and have heard nothing at all from people I would have assumed would be the first to call. I broke up with my girlfriend last night, and I’m still feeling like a jerk about it. The weather is going to be cloying and hot, and I’m honestly feeling a little bit strange, on the whole.
I am a person who needs to be constantly in motion. I can’t sit still, cannot stay in one place and do nothing for any length of time. My fingers itch to make something, my body yearns to go on an adventure somewhere. My best friend tells me I need to take some time for me, on the day that I can claim as my own. But doing nothing is at odds with my restless soul.
I don’t feel one way or another about birthdays, not anymore. Gone are the days when I would get excited. The last time I tried to have a birthday gathering, everyone cancelled on the day and it turned into a spectacular failure, so I don’t even bother with that anymore either. But there is a certain quality to the anniversary of the day I clawed my way out into the world, Alien style. (that’s how childbirth works, right? Chest Bursters all the way!). I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it feels different to any other day. I don’t know, perhaps I am just getting more contemplative in my old age. Regardless, today is a day, and whilst I’m still not sure what I’m going to do with it just yet, I think I might start with some breakfast. Seems like as good an idea as any!