Love is Love

I don’t often get political. I have what has been called a dangerous apathy about the state of the world. Which is to say, I mostly think we’re all fucked, and it makes me too angry and frustrated to pay too much attention to current events. However, there are certain things that I can not, and will not remain silent about. Things such as marriage equality. 

If you’re Australian, or happen to pay attention in any way to what goes in in the world, you will be aware of the current battle to win marriage equality for same sex couples. It’s been a bitter fight so far, with some of the ugliest reasons for voting against an issue that I’ve ever seen. The very idea that government can deny anyone the right to marry legally (who is of legal age to consent) makes me angry. 

In 2004, former Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, amended the Marriage Act. It currently reads;

“A union solemnised in a foreign country between: a man and another man; or a woman and another woman; must not be recognised as a marriage in Australia.”

With that change, Australia took away the right to allow same sex couples to marry. Without any reason. And, perhaps more importantly, without any difficulty. Now that the shoe is on the other foot however, things are considerably different. It’s not a matter of simply changing the wording, as Howard did thirteen years ago. No, this time the weak government, too scared of potentially upsetting the bigoted jerks in the world, have decided on a plebiscite to determine how many Australians are in favour of same sex marriage. Let me reiterate; this is a non-binding, non-compulsory postal vote. Which, by the way, they’re spending $122 million dollars on. I don’t know about you, but I think there are plenty of better things to spend money on.

The thing is, it makes no sense to deny marriage to same sex couples. There’s no reason to it, aside from homophobia and misguided religious belief, and that’s not a good enough reason. There’s no reason to have a debate about it, no reason to even have to call it “same sex marriage”. It’s fucking marriage, and it should be legal.

Oh, the opposing side has tried everything to make themselves heard. We’ve heard the cries of “think of the children” as if allowing same sex marriage is going to destroy the lives of the younger generations (it’s really not). Offensive posters were seen in Melbourne claiming that children of same sex families are considerably worse off than those of same sex couples, and Malcolm Turnbull brushed it off like it was nothing. The religious ones who like to pick and choose which parts of the bible they adhere to are claiming that it goes against “God” and that it’s unnatural and wrong. But that’s homophobic bigots for you. Though there are some who will vote yes, regardless. 

Now, me? I don’t want to get married. To a man, or a woman. It’s not for me, at least not at this particular juncture of my life. But I have friends who do want to get married, and I stand in solidarity with them. I fight for, and with them. My friend Monika posted something on Facebook the other day, and she summed up so much about why she, an openly gay and amazing young woman, wants the right to marry her Ally. She called for people to make sure they were enrolled correctly, to vote in this plebiscite and make the most of the only option we’ve been given.

“I implore you to vote “yes” if and when the time comes. Do it for me. Your friend, sister, daughter. Because I want to add the word “wife” to that list of descriptors. I don’t just want to have marriage equality because I want to have a wedding (but let’s be real, it’ll be fabulous, darling). I want marriage equality because I am not recognised as being the most important person in Alex’s life. Because if she is sick, I am not allowed to make medical decisions on her behalf even though I am the person who knows her the best and knows what she wants. Because if she dies, I am not entitled to make decisions on the funeral or bereavement process. I will not have access to our JOINT bank accounts because I do not have a marriage certificate to prove that we were together. I will not have access to her superannuation or life insurance. And it’s BULLSHIT because de facto heterosexual couples have those rights. But as gay people, we do not. 

So I beg you. As your friend, sister, niece, cousin, daughter…please vote yes. Vote yes because you care about me. Because you love me. Let’s make sure that love wins. #loveislove”

Now tell me; how can you, in good conscience, argue with that? If you’re reading this, and you’re an Australian citizen, the cut off to make sure you’re enrolled correctly is in two days. You have two more days to make sure that your voice is heard with mine, with Monika’s, with everyone else who is going to do what they know is the right thing, and vote yes. We need to do all that we can to make sure that marriage equality becomes a reality. You can check your details or enrol to vote here: http://www.aec.gov.au/enrol/. Let’s do this. Let’s make it count.

Misc – A Collection of Thoughts From an Overactive Mind

I have a lot of things going on inside my head that I want to write about. I want to talk about the pen in my hair, and why that is important. I want to talk about the rain, and the things I would prefer to be doing on a rainy day than working. I want to talk about why my gay friend is starting to grate on my nerves. I want to talk about conquering fears, and achieving small goals. But none of these things really flow together as part of one blog. It’s not one topic to discuss, it’s many, and there is no way to segue from one to the other seamlessly. So, I’m afraid this post may be a touch rambling, but let’s just call it Misc.

First of all, the pen. I have a pen in my hair every day at work, because I often need to write things down, and it’s easier to carry one on my person than to have to hunt around for one whenever I have cause to use it. The pen remains in my hair while it is necessary, and I have a tendency to keep it there, even when it is no longer of any particular use to me. Now, I tend to go for walks at night, because it’s cooler, and it’s the only time I have, and I feel more comfortable getting all hot and sweaty under the cover of darkness. (so vanity is my sin, whatever). However, if the rumours are true, walking alone at night with headphones in is a dangerous habit for a young woman to have. And this is where the pen comes in. It is illegal to carry concealed weapons, so I cannot walk around with a pocket knife, or a bludgeoning tool, or mace. So instead, I keep the pen in my hair. It isn’t much, just a tube of ink in a plastic case, really. But it makes me feel safer to have one. Funny, isn’t it? How something so small can make such a difference. I’m not saying a pen is going to be much use against a gun, or a particularly violent attacker, should I bump into such a person, but if you’ve ever been stabbed in the eye with a pen, you’ll understand how a well placed jab can be useful. And thus, the pen is quite literally mightier than the sword… though mostly that’s because I can actually legally walk around with one.

Secondly, and with no common ground whatsoever with the pen, the rain. It is raining today. When I woke up, comfortable in bed this morning, I most assuredly did not want to move, especially not to get up and go to work. Alas, working casual means I don’t have the luxury of taking any time off, so I begrudgingly got up, and got dressed, and  went to work, and felt momentarily miserable that I was missing the weather. I enjoy the rain. Grey days bring me an insurmountable measure of happiness. When it rains, I love nothing more than curling up with a cup of tea and a book, or sleeping in, or even just listening to the sounds of cars as they pass. So today, while some people are doing that very thing, I am at work, suffering through a boring day. And the worst part? I left the shop before to go outside for a moment, and the blasted sun was out. There were hints of blue poking through the cloud blanket, and my heart broke just a little. Sounds weird, I know. But unlike a lot of people, the sun after the rain makes me a little sad.

Thirdly, my gay friend. I am at a point, where I have decided to unfollow his Facebook posts. Because he doesn’t know how to be gay, without getting on his high horse about it. Now, this is a touchy subject but I want to point out that I myself am physically, and sexually attracted to other women. This is not a homophobic attack. And I like this person, he just happens to be irritating me lately. You see, ever since getting a boyfriend, it is as if he has developed an anti-straight personality. He throws his sexual orientation in everyone’s face, adopting every gay cliche imaginable, simply in an attempt to make straight people uncomfortable. It is almost like he is hoping someone will say something to him, so he can turn around and make himself a victim and say ‘well you’re only saying that because I’m gay’. And that mentality really bugs me. If someone is a jerk to you on the basis of your sexual orientation, fuck yeah man, give ’em hell. But if you’re just saying things, hoping to incite violence or discriminatory words/actions, then you’re bringing it on yourself, and I have no sympathy for you. I don’t condone being an asshole, regardless of what side of that battle you’re on. And honey, we know you’re gay. You don’t need to keep reminding us.

And finally, fear conquering. I am afraid of spiders. Or at least, I used to be. These days, I think I’m more wary of them. You see, ever since moving out and having to kill spiders on my own, I find them less frightening. Yeah, they’re creepy as fuck and their weird eight legged movements across my kitchen floor make me recoil. But now at least, I can kill them calmly and without running away from them. Actually, I recently referred to myself on Facebook as the Spider Killer King, and frankly, after killing twenty or so spiders in the last six months (I swear to you, that’s not an exaggeration!) I think that title is well deserved.

And finally, for the couple of people who asked, I finally moved with the times and stopped writing down every book I read in a notebook. I now have a Goodreads account, which you can find here.

And on that note, I’m out. Peace, y’all.

Uninformed Assholes With an Opinion

I have a serious problem with people who judge another person on the basis of sexual orientation. I mean, it’s a dick move to judge anyone based on anything they have no control over, but homophobia is a particular sore point with me. As a young woman who has identified as liking other women since I was twelve, I take umbrage to people automatically hating me on the basis of that one small detail that I have no control over.

You said it, Mr Freeman!
You said it, Mr Freeman!

Yesterday my friend came back to work after a smoke break, with a story about one of the tradies currently doing some construction at the shopping centre I work at. He asked her about another fellow who works in the same centre, who happens to be openly gay. Once the tradie heard confirmation of gayness, his automatic response was ‘ugh, I hate faggots.’ As soon as my friend told me, I saw red. I wondered if the tradie in question had the same problem with lesbians, considering how often judgemental assholes seem to think that there’s a difference. This guy was, surprisingly, an exception. He hates all gay people, male and female alike.

When my friend questioned him further, he fit snugly into the stereotype, and said he hates gays because, in his words, he believes they all want to fuck him. Here’s where things started to make me even more angry. I don’t automatically assume that every girl I meet is going to want in my pants. And by the same token, not all gay men want to shag every man they set eyes on. As a vehemently straight man, I don’t assume the tradie wants to jump the bones of every girl who walks past either, so I don’t understand how he thinks there’s a difference. He went on to say he never chases after girls, because they’re always falling all over him anyway, so evidently his arrogance has no limits. He made some comment about ‘being from the country’, as if that was an indication of his heterosexuality. I’m sorry, but I wasn’t aware that gay people only lived in big cities. His argument makes no sense.

I just don’t understand. If you’re going to bigoted about something, at least get your facts right. I get so sick of these uninformed jerks raging about things they don’t understand, and making assumptions about a certain thing based on preconceived notions they have about it. And hating someone because of thier sexual orientation is archaic. Spouting bigoted nonsense is only going to make you come across as a jerk, and frankly it makes you seem uneducated.