Empty

I lost myself some time ago,
and could not get me back.
I mourn in silent agony,
for the things that I now lack.

The passion that once drove me,
has vanished into air.
And the things that I once loved to do,
it's like they were never there.

Monotony and endless days,
are bland and dull and dreary.
The life that I've now settled to,
drains, and leaves me weary.

I don't recognise my face these days,
the light has left my eyes.
And even though I say I'm fine,
I don't believe those lies.

I miss the me that I once was,
And long for her return.
To reignite the fire,
and watch this empty shell burn.

A String of Sentences

Anger bubbles, soon to be quelled. Silent promises never honoured, keep your emotions to yourself.

Words unspoken, choking tongue and tasting bitter. Fists clenched, hold back, everything is fine.

Indulge. Pander. Pretend. Play the role, live the lie. No one cares to know, no one thinks to care.

Frustration leaves marks on the skin, half moon scars. Mustn’t be a burden. Listen, smile, leave welts in flesh. Bleed quietly.

Paste a grin, wear the mask. Don’t let them in.

Left Unsaid

I never say what I want to say. The words get stuck in my throat, and what comes out is not what I’m screaming inside my head. My lips are painted with the ghosts of a thousand whispered confessions, murmured to the night and lost in the nothing. Bravery would unleash those secret things and leave my throat unobstructed, but I have always been scared. Words are both weapons, and chains, and I am trapped by things left unsaid. I am small, and I was never meant to be a hero.

26.01.18

Teetering on the edge of “tear my hair out” frustration.

Hit with a severe case of no inspiration.

Sweating in heat, lack of precipitation.

I can’t even be bothered with masturbation.

There’s a holiday opinion dividing the nation.

Proving their points in mass demonstration.

Though all I can think, to my indignation, is

Long weekend, but no motivation.

Heart

Curse you, foolish, sentimental heart.

I would sooner tear you from my body than let your wickedness poison me any longer.

Rot. Wither and die before me, as the cavity you left in my chest weeps and bleeds.

I can do without you. I will grieve you not.

A Gift

I am not a deep thinker,
Or an eloquent speaker.
I cannot write music,
And barely write verse.

I’m not often funny,
And quite far from sunny.
I’m a bit weird and awkward,
Ah, but things could be worse.

I could be friendless,
Or totally loveless,
I could be hopeless,
Or stiff in a hearse.

So despite all my defects,
And all my bad aspects,
The thing to recall,
Is that life ain’t a curse.

Lonely People

All who are lonely need not be disheartened.
You are not alone.
We are, all of us, lonely too.

Not the happy people.
Not the content.
But the lost, and the left.

If we all came together, we the lonely
We would come to realise
That we are in good company.

And none of us should ever have to feel alone again. 

The Girl

I see you, girl, I know your kind.
You think you’re smart, but bear in mind,
I know your games, I’ve played this field,
You’ll try to win, but I won’t yield.

Now listen close, and listen well.
We are not friends, I’m not your pal,
I see right through your bright facade,
And trust me, girl, I’m on my guard.

Your envy shines through bright and green,
You’ll always try to come between.
You manipulate and plot and scheme,
But girl, I can play just as mean.

Controlling and possesive is your M.O
But you’re not that tough, girl, don’t you know.
You think you wear a golden crown,
But come at me, and I’ll take you down.

The Hardest Part

The hardest part

Of waking up is knowing

That I’m going to have to move,

And do the day all over again.

And the hardest part

Of moving is that it’s never forward,

Only backward, and down.

Thoughts of Spring

The sound of your breathing fills the silence, and your heart beats a steady drum beneath my fingertips. There is comfort in your embrace, in the warmth of your skin pressed to mine.

The morning is peaceful, as though the very world outside this room is afraid to break the tranquil spell we’re under. The bed is dappled in gentle sunlight and the breeze through the open window smells of spring.

I close my eyes and match my breathing with yours. The rise and fall of your chest in unison with my own. I press my lips lightly to your cheek, taste the salt of your skin. Let us stay here a while, just you and I.